Phone Calls from Palestine

Sometimes sacrifice is worth it – but it takes a lot of getting used to, no matter how invested you are

I claim that I have reverted to Islam but, actually, I am a charlatan. What I mean is, I am now following this ideology and faith but haven’t yet made all the changes.

As a Western European woman, I am finding this transition tough.

There are so many sacrifices to make and, at 47, some habits are hard to break.

I bought a Quran, my first hijab, and immediately stopped eating pork. But now I realise it takes much more than that.

So, what led me to make the change?

When I started learning more about Palestine and diasporic populations in the Middle East and West Asia, I felt I couldn’t understand or report on them accurately without doing my research – as all good journalists and campaigners do.

The more I started to learn about the Palestinian mindset, the more I wanted a piece of it. Yes, sadly Gaza is facing a genocide but, after making connections and learning more about Palestinian culture, the more I realised there is much to learn and take heed from.

I am only sorry it’s taken me this long to notice. Yes, lives have been reduced to rubble, but I am envious of what my Palestinian friends still have and hold on to.

Their values are second to none. It’s all about family and community; divorce is rare. They have traditions that we would go on holiday to experience.

Take the Palestinian Dabke, for example. I challenge anyone not to watch this high energy Levantine dance without feeling happy and inspired.

Never would we see men dance together like this in the West. Yet our Middle Eastern and West Asian counterparts are so coordinated, with so much pride for their countries.

And it’s not just a Palestinian dance. It’s also staple of weddings and other special occasions throughout Lebanon, Syria, Jordan and Iraq.

After reading the Quran, I started to understand more and more about my Palestinian and Arabic friends and realised how ignorant I had been – not understanding their ways.

Not understanding the difference between halal and haram; not understanding the constant washing and showering; their aversion to blood, and not understanding why they can’t just “date”.

And now I feel foolish. I would love a piece of this peaceful, wholesome faith and lifestyle. Yet even that sounds selfish.

And being truly Muslim comes with its own caveats. If you are not born into this faith, it can take a lot of adjustments. I am very early in my journey, but learning every day.

I’m still not sure I can do it.

May Allah guide me. Inshallah.

*Please note I support both Muslim and Christian Palestinians. This is just the road I have decided to take